


Judge me to my face. Loudly.

by Chrystie, kate882



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Oblivious Iwaizumi Hajime, Polyamory, and the title was my reply, for proposing kuroiwaoi as the next logical progression to our writing, street art, title from chrystie saying i should feel her silent judgement through the computer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-16 06:32:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10565625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrystie/pseuds/Chrystie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate882/pseuds/kate882
Summary: Iwaizumi catches two guys with spray paint doing some unauthorized redecorating to one of the dorm buildings on campus. He somehow finds himself in a love triangle with them. Kind of. It's really more of a circle.





	

“Hey, Tetsu-chan, did you hear something?” Oikawa asked as he finished with the spray paint he was using, glancing around.

“Nothing but the sweet sound of paint-” Kuroo started to say before being rudely cut off.

“What the hell are you two doing?!” A voice boomed from behind them, sounding less than thrilled that they were finishing up a masterpiece on the side of the ugliest dorm building on campus.

“Well _now_ I hear something.”

“Holy shit, he’s hot,” Oikawa muttered, appearing rooted to the spot, spray paint can still in hand leaving no room for interpretation as to why they were there instead of running like they probably should be doing.

“Hot and angry. It somehow works on him.” Kuroo casually stood to his full height, tossing his own can up in the air and catching it again. “How’re you on this fine night?”

That seemed to only make the guy fume even more. Upon closer inspection, Oikawa recognized him as one of the RA’s for the dorm they were painting, but he couldn’t come up with a name. “There’s stupid and then there’s _annoyingly_ stupid. You both know you’re going to be the ones to paint over that, right?”

“Honestly, anything might be an improvement to this building. The paint was peeling anyway. Makes you wonder where your tuition is going,” Oikawa told him. “Can we have like . . . five? Yeah, five should be enough, five more minutes to finish this up? If you don’t like it we’d be happy to cover it up before you get in trouble.” Oikawa offered his most charming smile.

There was an annoyed tick in the hot guy’s eyebrow and, despite being shorter than both of them, he grabbed them both by the back of their collars and pushed them away from the dorm building’s wall.

“Wait, c’mon, do you really want to have to deal with this when I just said we’d fix it if you don’t like it? No one get’s in trouble that way. And if you do like it, you just never saw us and it’s not your fault. Win-win either way,” Oikawa protested. “Tetsu-chan, back me up here.”

“He’s right you know. This building’s pretty shit. We’re just giving it some flare.”

“It doesn’t matter how shit the building is, you can’t vandalise it,” the guy practically grit out.

“Can you at least look at what we’ve got so far? Let me take off the stencils so you can see it?” Oikawa asked.

The guy paused for a second, his inner debate practically audible. “Fine,” he sighed, letting go of Oikawa “But no more painting, I’m letting both of you off with a warning.”

Oikawa grinned. “You’re the best.” He walked over to the wall and peeled off the last of the stencils showing off a rather colorful forest design. “See, much better than peeling gray paint.”

“And you thought we were just causing trouble,” Kuroo grinned, “Feel free to keep manhandling us though, that’s not too bad.”

The RA’s expression morphed from mild appreciation to disturbed. “You _are_ causing trouble. It just happens to look nice.” he was apparently ignoring the second half of what Kuroo said.

“Tetsu-chan he likes our art.” Oikawa pretended to swoon and Kuroo dutifully caught him.

“Yeah and I’m sure the dean will love it too when he looks for who did it.” The guy rolled his eyes.

“Well as long as you don’t tell who has to know who did it?” Oikawa winked at him.

“And while you’re so kindly not telling, maybe we could go out for some midnight coffee?” Kuroo, who had somehow wiggled himself out of the other’s hold to loop his arm around his shoulders, wiggled his eyebrows.

The guy took a step away from Kuroo. “How about the both of you get out of here before I change my mind.”

Oikawa pulled out a pen and grabbed the guy’s hand writing down his number. “Sure thing, but call me sometime, okay?” He smiled as he gathered up his and Kuroo’s stuff to leave.

“And where he is, I won't be far,” Kuroo winked.

Oikawa gave one last charming smile after passing Kuroo some of the things to carry before the two of them walked off together.

* * *

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa jogged over and threw an arm around Iwaizumi’s shoulders. He knew he’d recognized the guy from the other night as an RA so it had been easy enough to figure out what his name was later on. “How’s it going?”

“Y’know, both you and Kuroo are really touchy,” Iwaizumi said as he resigned himself to being pressed up close to Oikawa.

“I see we’re not the only ones who looked for names then? Must have caught your attention. Not enough for you to call me though.” Oikawa pouted a bit at him.

“Maybe I accidentally scrubbed it off before I remembered,” Iwaizumi shrugged, clearly lying.

Oikawa looked disappointed for a moment but quickly covered it up with a bright smile. “Well, anyway, Tetsu-chan and I are going out for coffee, you wanna come? I was just on my way to meet him.”

“Is ‘no’ really an option?” He asked with an amused smile.

“It would be kidnapping if it wasn’t, but I’d really prefer a yes.” Oikawa gave his best puppy dog eyes, which were known to extend deadlines and get him out of trouble all the time.

“Then I guess we can have coffee.”

Oikawa’s smile brightened further. “Great! We're almost there anyway.”

Oikawa lead them to an on campus cafe and waved when he spotted Kuroo. “Tetsu-chan, look who I brought.”

“Ooh, Mr. Hot-ass. Nice to see you again,” Kuroo grinned.

“You two are some of the least subtle people I’ve ever met.”

“Subtlety doesn't get results. I like to go directly after what I want to ensure I've done everything I can to get it,” Oikawa said flippantly as he sat down.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself,” Kuroo nodded.

“I guess I can see why you two are always together.” Iwaizumi sat himself down next to Oikawa as a waiter came out with a cup of coffee and a coffee flavoured milkshake for their table.

“I ordered ahead, I could’ve gotten you something too if I had known.”

“It’s fine.” Iwaizumi waved him off before turning to the waiter to ask for a black coffee.

“It’s like we were made for each other,” Kuroo sighed, sipping his own black coffee.

“Or like I was made to create balance,” Oikawa countered, pulling a face at Kuroo and Iwaizumi’s coffee choices.

“Says the guy drinking sugar,” Iwaizumi snorted.

“Exactly. Balance. I'm drinking sugar and you two are drinking unhappiness in a cup.”

The waiter came back with Iwaizumi’s coffee and he took a pointed sip, looking straight at Oikawa. “Mmmmmm. It tastes like not diabetes.”

Kuroo, on the other end of the table, was cracking up, barely able to keep coffee from snorting out his nose.

“And yet it explains why you were so angry the other night when you caught us,” Oikawa said, taking a sip of his own drink. “Speaking of, should Tetsu-chan and I not talk about our next art plans around you or…?”

“If I don’t know I can’t stop it.”

“If you do know you could join us,” Oikawa replied, a wicked gleam in his eyes.

“He’s trying to pull you over to the dark side,” Kuroo winked.

“Sounds like a bad idea. Don’t think I’m going to do that.”

“It's not even on campus though.”

“Still sounds like a bad idea.” Iwaizumi’s resolve was starting to waver, just a little.

“You don't even have to paint,” Oikawa tried. “You could just be our lookout. I'm sure the next person who tries to bust us won't be nearly as hot, so probably best to get some warning next time.”

“Or you could just be our inspiration. Give us something to stare at.”

“I think I like Oikawa’s suggestion more.” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes.

“No one said you couldn’t be both.”

“I like both,” Oikawa agreed. “We were thinking a space theme. I’d love to paint the stars in your eyes,” he said with a flirtatious smile.

Iwaizumi looked consideringly between the two of them, ignoring Oikawa’s blatant flirting. “Fine,” he sighed, “Only because what you guys did the other night did look pretty good.”

“It's a date then. You free tomorrow night?”

“I have to make a round in my dorm, but I’m free after.”

“Your dorm that hasn't covered up our last work? We can meet you there at midnight,” Oikawa offered.

Iwaizumi snorted. “There’s a fight going on between the other RA’s and the dean about whether or not it’s vandalism or an artistic addition to the building. Midnight should work.”

“Which side of the fight are you on?”

Iwaizumi lips twitched slightly, “To them I’m on the fence. In reality I just didn’t think I could make give an unbiased opinion.”

Oikawa laughed. “Why does it have to be unbiased? You know it's an improvement.”

“I think it’s his way of telling us he likes us, Tooru.”

“Must be some of that subtlety he mentioned before,” Oikawa agreed. “Wouldn't it be easier to just say you like us?”

Iwaizumi’s face scrunched in a way that said he disagreed.

“Ooh, that looks like a no.”

“Or like he suddenly developed the ability to taste what you two are drinking.”

This time it was Kuroo who took a pointed sip. “Nope still tastes good.”

“That makes me sad for you.”

“I think that just means you’re the weird one here,” Iwaizumi said, glad for the change in topic.

“I still drink black coffee. But only when I'm pulling an allnighter. And at that point it's already sad, so no real loss.”

They bickered back and forth like that for the rest of lunch, Kuroo and Iwaizumi teaming up against Oikawa for a majority of the time. Iwaizumi continued to skirt around dating and liking them every time they tried to flirt with him, but he didn’t seem to wholly dislike it, which, while it made things confusing, wasn’t completely terrible.

* * *

“Ready to go?” Oikawa asked when he spotted Iwaizumi.

“Yeah. I even brought you death by sugar,” Iwaizumi chuckled as he handed Oikawa a cup of coffee from a tray with two others still wedged into it.

Oikawa’s eyes lit up. “And the night is off to a great start already.”

“I’m guessing one of those is for me,” Kuroo spoke up from where he was leaning against the wall, “Unless you were planning on staying up all night, in which case I'd also be happy to help you do that too.” He winked and grabbed a cup from the tray, sure to brush up against Iwaizumi as he did.

“Nice to see you would've taken it anyway even if they were both for me,” Iwaizumi deadpanned.

“Can't play favorites that obviously, Iwaizumi.”

“Unless that favorite is me. Because I deserve it.” Oikawa gave them both a pretty smile before happily taking a sip of his drink.

“Sometimes,” Kuroo hummed.

“I'm not playing favorites. I might be tempted to take back both coffees though.”

“You'll have to pry it from my cold dead hands,” Oikawa said solemnly, clutching the cup to his chest and hiding behind Kuroo.

“It's got chocolate in there.” Iwaizumi seemed disgusted just by the idea. “It's not worth that kind of effort. Kuroo’s drink though. . .”

“Told you I had better taste than you, Tooru.”

“Your taste is going to get you a stolen drink. Mine lets me keep my drink. I think I'm winning here. Anyway, we should get going. We're doing that ugly pizza place like two miles away. Food’s great there, but the place looks super sketchy so they don't get much in the way of customers. We're probably helping them really.”

“Is that how you rationalize all of your vandalism?” Iwaizumi snorted.

“No. I rationalize it with ‘that building looks like shit, and we can make it not’.” Oikawa grinned at him, leading the way to his and Kuroo’s shared car. “I'm driving by the way,” he added over his shoulder, holding up the keys.

Kuroo’s face was an odd mix of terrified and resigned and Iwaizumi could only take that as a bad sign. It didn’t take long for him to realize that he was right. It was definitely a bad sign. Oikawa apparently liked to drive as though every second he wasted in the car was a second too long.

When they got there, Iwaizumi stumbled out of the car, slightly dizzy and held onto Kuroo’s arm for support. “Dear Jesus, you could’ve warned me.”

Kuroo just flashed him a smirk. “Part of the Tooru experience is getting in the car with him with no warning.”

“I'm a great getaway driver,” Oikawa bragged, tossing Kuroo a spray paint can from the trunk. “And if you're ever running late to something I can probably get you there. Never even gotten a ticket or into an accident.” He sounded very proud of himself for someone who had run five stop signs on the way to the pizza place.

“Would that have anything to do with you being able to _outrun the police_.”

Oikawa just gave him a wicked smile back.

“He has a sixth sense for cops, I swear to god it's a super power,” Kuroo told Iwaizumi. “And he actually knows how to drive like someone who didn't learn to drive from the Fast and Furious movies so he never gets in trouble.”

Iwaizumi stared at Kuroo doubtfully.

“I know, but it’s true.”

“Check my driving record sometime. It's spotless,” Oikawa said, starting to set up on the wall.

They got through the painting without Iwaizumi needing to do much looking out, and with a lot of flirting on Oikawa and Kuroo’s parts. By the end the storefront looked completely different, with stars and planets decorating it and neat cursive declaring that the pizza was “out of this world”. If someone ever looked at Kuroo’s notes they would never believe he was responsible for that writing. Courtesy of Oikawa, the yellow door that lead inside also became part of a tractor beam from a UFO to make going into the shop a little more interesting.

“What do you think?” He asked Iwaizumi with a bright, genuine smile.

Iwaizumi took a good minute to just admire their work, humming in approval. “It’s amazing. You somehow made something simultaneously beautiful yet dorky. It suits the two of you.”

Oikawa and Kuroo exchanged grins. “Beautiful suits us, huh?”

“Yet dorky,” Iwaizumi repeated, sounding only mildly embarrassed.

“Well I think you're beautiful too,” Oikawa practically purred before starting to gather things up with Kuroo.

“Don’t count me out. I’ll give you all the adjectives you want that increase my chances to get into your pants.”

Now Iwaizumi was definitely more than just mildly embarrassed. How Kuroo said any of that with a straight face was beyond him.

“Tetsu-chan, he's blushing,” Oikawa pointed out excitedly. “Is sex talk the key to seeing you blush, Iwa-chan? I'd be happy to talk about all the stuff I'd like to do to you and have you do to me if that's what it takes.”

“ _No._ ” Iwaizumi sounded a lot more scandalised than he’d meant to.

“Now he’s just being cute,” Kuroo cooed.

Oikawa nodded in agreement. “I think I like this side of Iwa-chan.”

“If I’m living through the rest of the night with the two of you talking like this then Kuroo’s the one that’s driving us back.”

Oikawa opened his mouth to protest and then paused. “No he's not. Cop coming. Hurry up.” He tossed the last of the stuff into the trunk and quickly got into the front seat. “Getaway driver,” he reminded Iwaizumi as he sped off, somehow faster than before.

When they got back to campus, Iwaizumi was sufficiently motion sick enough that Kuroo and Oikawa both decided they could save the teasing.

* * *

There were a lot of things Iwaizumi had prepared himself for when he said he would meet Oikawa and Kuroo. Teasing and flirting were some of those things. There was no way of knowing he also had to prepare for what he actually walking into, which was Oikawa and Kuroo attached to each other by the lips looking like they were one step away from shedding their shirts.

“Wha- I… um?”

Oikawa was the first one to pull away, turning his head when Kuroo’s mouth tried to follow his. Kuroo apparently didn’t mind as he simply moved his mouth to Oikawa’s neck. “Oh, hey Iwa-chan. You're early,” he said with a light blush spreading across his cheeks as Kuroo nipped his pulse point.

“You’re dating?!” was all Iwaizumi could blurt out.

Kuroo finally detached his mouth from Oikawa. “Yeah, you didn’t know?” he said as though it should’ve been obvious, which it really wasn’t. At least not to Iwaizumi.

“How would I know? You both flirt with me like your lives depend on it!”

“Yeah. _Both of us._ If we were fighting over you do you really think it would be that civil? And that I would have invited you on my date with him when we all got coffee? I would have tried to get you alone if we were fighting for you.” Oikawa told him, extracting himself from Kuroo’s arms.

“Yeah, he’s super competitive. If this was a fight for you you’d probably have seen a lot less of me. Not even for lack of trying on my part. Tooru just gets really into competition. But we’re polyamorous,” Kuroo explained.

Iwaizumi felt the sudden need to sit down, but he also wanted to wedge himself between the two of them. He had actually been worried that dating either one of them would put a strain on their friendship, and he didn’t want to be responsible for that, but if they were already together…

“Is this a date? Did you ask me on a handful of dates without me realizing?”

“I called it a date when you agreed to come with us to paint the pizza shop. If you didn't realize that's on you.”

“Shh, Tooru. I think he’s starting to come around to the idea that he can have both of us.” Kuroo, brazen as ever, left Oikawa’s side to slide up next to Iwaizumi, throwing an arm around him waist.

Iwaizumi hated that he was still gaping like a fish.

Oikawa approached as well, smirking and looking at Iwaizumi through his lashes. “What do you say, Iwa-chan? Interested in a three way relationship with us?”

Iwaizumi managed to get his bearings back and answered by pulling Oikawa closer to him by his shirt collar and slanting their lips together, which caused Oikawa to let out a muffled surprised sound before quickly melting into the kiss.  

Kuroo sighed contentedly as he wrapped his arm more fully around Iwaizumi’s waist and nuzzled his hair. “It’s like all my voyeuristic wishes were just granted. Or they’re going to be at least.”

“Tetsu-chan has a lot of fantasies. We can take this at whatever pace you're comfortable with though,” Oikawa mumbled against Iwaizumi’s mouth.

“I noticed. He also somehow managed to completely ruin the mood.” Iwaizumi wasn’t all that bothered by it though.

“It’s a gift. One you’re going to get used to pretty fast.”

“I've learned to just get past it. The sex is worth some of the dumb things he says.”

“I'd be happy to show you just how worth it it is right now. Screw whatever we were planning to do, while I screw you too.”

Despite how stupid the line was, and it was _really_ stupid, Iwaizumi found himself agreeing and letting the two of them drag him back to their apartment.

* * *

A few hours later he woke up to find he was actually cold, despite being sandwiched between two bodies because Oikawa was apparently a blanket stealer and had completely cocooned himself in both the blankets and the sheets on the bed.

Iwaizumi groaned and rolled over to cling to Kuroo, who was somehow still warm. “You're my morning favourite,” he grumbled into Kuroo’s neck, not really expecting a response.

“Can't play favorites so obviously unless it's with me, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa mumbled sleepily from inside of his cocoon.

“You're a burrito blanket stealer.” It didn't really make much sense, but nothing really made sense before coffee. Kuroo gave a half snore which sounded like agreement enough.

Oikawa made a sound that was probably also agreement before drifting back to sleep.

Despite the lack of blankets thanks to a certain someone Iwaizumi found himself drifting back to sleep with a smile on his face.


End file.
